TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
