She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
