so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
