so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
