It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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