how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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