She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
