So drunk its hurt
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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