In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
