Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she smelled like a LAN party
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
