i need an iv and a liver transplant
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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