I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
why do cheetos always look like penises
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
