Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
