Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
