WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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