it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
