He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
