Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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