3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I look better un-naked...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
