I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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