Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
