i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
