Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
