Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We smell like vodka and hangover
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