I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
