This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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