wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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