I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
