just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
