I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
50% drunk capacity currently
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
