Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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