Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize