There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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