this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
