I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
