No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i think i just lost a toe
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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