dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
