he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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