garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
