He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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