i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
