Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
