It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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