I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I want to have your abortion
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
