Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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