tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
