Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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