fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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