I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
