mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
